You know what is is, 11:53am, frontroom coach, nothing else to do but beat the meat and you've already reached that feat. The pizza from last night is gonna take a while to heat up, so, what are you waiting for? Dip into your button bag full of hash, rizzler and filter in hand, tight-pressed and in need of a bit of cess, sit back, flip on this track and blow your way through the rest. Toastin while prosing, you poets ain't ready for me! Ha!

If there's one thing that you'll ever learn about the British, it's that they can make TV out of anything. Yep, X Factor, The Weakest Link, Big Brother, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, so and so's Got Talent were all plucked from the brains of us stuffed up tea-lovers! One struggles to understand why, whatever happened to just being satisfied with a corny soap opera, or a washed up dating show that featured a batted up old fogey with the cheeks of a younglin Labrador? The Good old days, back when a Saturday evening meant something!

Now (surprise, surprise) a hit show has been founded on the idea of filming illegal aliens at their deepest point of despair. Desperate for shelter, safety and the chance for a better life the show (cleverly named 'UK Border Force') documents how border officers shut out illegals from "coming in and taking our jobs" (while I sip on my mug, fill out my jobseeker form and watch The Jeremy Kyle on a Wednesday afternoon). There is seriously no holding back on this, from ransacking old dingy Chinese restaurants and inner city fried chicken stores to carrying out searches on cargo trucks headed for the border, UK immigration authorities now mean business.

Nonetheless, I must digress....it is still some FUNNY SHIT!!! Call it a guilty pleasure.

Check out the first aired episode

Then witness Yakubu no 2 attempt to to push through the story of him being a 15 year old boy who graduated from his school in 1994! Smdh!

For those who are not the most familiar with UK demographics and British culture (which counts for most people :P), if there is one thing worth noting, above Britain's rich history of fuckin everyone in site over, the peoples love for tea and biscuits, even the Queen, it's that London IS Britain BITCH! Everyone knows a Londoner from the time they've laid eyes upon them, we're confident, loud, direct and cultured, we'll let you know what we're about bossman! Anyway, check out this video exploring the slang, the lingo of the streets of London that help to solidify our place among the hardest, most gangsta citygoers out there!

Oh yh, and check this video out of those American rejects (the Canadians) trying to bite our slang! We ain't having that bruv! Haha! (Or was it they that influenced London?)